Entries in Knowing Yourself (16)


Be Memorable

Last month, I talked about the importance of always having an “I Wish” or elevator speech prepared so you can turn any social or business interaction into a potential networking opportunity.  But what makes a good “I Wish” speech?  Over the course of the next few newsletters, I will be giving some tips on how to create an effective speech.  Some of the tips will only apply to certain types of “I Wish” speeches—searching for a new job requires a different kind of speech than searching for a new plumber—but I’ll start with a tip that applies to just about any situation.

Consider these two “I Wish” speeches you might use at a party when someone asks what you do:

“Me?  I run a personal organizer business and help disorganized people get rid of their clutter.  You know, filing things and creating lists and such.”

“I make executives more efficient by streamlining their procedures.  I just spent the morning with a CEO who could never find anything in the heaps of papers on his desk, a complete mess.  Now everything has a place and it’s going to stay that way, and he’s getting a lot more work done.”

These examples are the kind of thing you might say if you are trying to drum up business as a professional organizer.  And if the person you are talking with is a potential client, either speech would do – if they are interested in such a service, they’ll probably tell you and you can go into more detail about how you can help them, or at least give them your card and follow-up at another time.

But much of the value of networking lies in letting others do your work for you.  If you can deliver an effective “I wish” speech, then anyone who hears it can become your proxy, thinking of you whenever they encounter a match for your wish.  With this consideration, the second of the two speeches is clearly superior.  By telling exactly who needs you (business executives who want to be more efficient) and by painting a mental image that will stick in people’s minds (the messy desk being cleared away), you make it much more likely that your listeners will make the connection the next time they encounter a disorganized executive who could use your services.

Make your “I Wish” speech memorable by being specific and creating vivid images.

Including specific details in your “I Wish” speech can bring to life what you are seeking, just as telling details can bring good writing to life.  “I want a job in the software industry” is ho-hum; “I want to be the lead programmer on the next YouTube” grabs people’s attention.

Similarly, an “I Wish” speech that creates a picture in the hearer’s mind is more likely to be remembered.  Don’t just say you’re a structural engineer; talk about making sure that bridges stay up in all kinds of weather, and make people see that bridge expanding and contracting with the heat and swaying with the wind.  When you tell what you do (or would like to do), tell it in a way that lets people picture you doing it.


I Wish....

Lately I’ve become something of an expert on Disney animated films, not because of any conscious choice on my part, but simply because I have a two-year-old daughter who has fallen hard for the whole Disney princess craze.  So in the past few months I’ve seen several of the Disney movies more times than the most dedicated film student has pored over Citizen Kane or The Seven Samurai.  Due to this intense study I’ve begun to notice certain common features in the films.  One feature found in most of the films is the “I Wish” song, typically sung by the heroine as the second musical number, in which she tells the world exactly what it is she wants from life.  Think of Ariel in The Little Mermaid singing “Wish I could be/Part of your world,” or Belle in Beauty & The Beast singing “I want much more than this provincial life/I want adventure in the great wide somewhere,” or even Snow White singing “Some day my prince will come.”  Of course, the “I Wish” song isn’t limited to Disney films, as it also appears in classic stage musicals such as My Fair Lady (“All I want is a room somewhere”).  The “I Wish” song tells the audience who the heroine is, and by clearly establishing what she wants, it sets up the rest of the action as she struggles but ultimately achieves her goal.

While I don’t recommend bursting into song during business meetings (unless you are a really good singer), you can learn something from the Disney heroines who tell the world exactly what they want.  The business equivalent of the “I Wish” song is the 30-second elevator speech.  The elevator speech is usually thought of as a condensed, memorable pitch for a new business idea or product, prepared and honed for that brief, make-or-break moment when an entrepreneur has the ear of a venture capitalist.  But an elevator or “I Wish” speech can be a much more versatile tool than that, and can help you in your business or personal life no matter what your situation.

Always have an “I Wish” speech prepared to tell others what you are seeking

You always want something that you need contacts to help you find, and you are always meeting new people, or getting reacquainted with people, in a variety of business and social contexts.  Having an “I Wish” speech allows you to easily and naturally draw on all those people (and all the people they know) to help you find what you want.  Whenever someone asks “And what do you do?” or “What have you been up to?” or even “Who are you?” you can use your “I Wish” speech to answer their question in a way that also lets them know what you are looking for, without sounding like a sales pitch.

Sometimes it’s easy to know what should go into your “I Wish” speech.  You may be an entrepreneur looking for funding. You may be looking for a new job.  You may be a consultant looking for new clients.  But an “I Wish” speech can be used for many other things.  Some of my clients have used “I Wish” speeches to get an introduction to a particular CEO, to find a mentor, or to find a good dry cleaner.  If you have an unpublished novel or screenplay in your drawer, perhaps your speech should be about your search for an agent.  Or maybe you need a good web designer for your business, or a reliable plumber.

The first step is decide what it is you wish for – your most pressing current need that someone else can help you with – and then figure out how to talk about it naturally in a casual conversation.  The next step is not to sing about your wish on some deserted meadow like a heroine in a Disney movie, but to tell it to as many people as you can.  Next month I will talk more about how to craft your “I Wish” speech and how and when to use it.


How do you learn best?

My husband actually likes to read manuals.  When we bought a video camera to document our daughter’s life, I was ready to play with it and start making videos as soon as we opened the box.  I rarely look at manuals; even if I have problems with something, I will keep playing with it until I figure it out rather than read the instructions. My husband, on the other hand, instinctively reached for the manual, and wouldn’t have even considered turning the camera on until he had absorbed much of the manual’s contents.  He’d rather learn how to do something by reading about it than by trying it.

Different people learn, or learn best, in different ways.  There are various possible ways to describe these differences; one approach is to divide people into kinesthetic learners (those who learn best by doing), auditory learners (those who learn best through lectures and discussions), and visual learners (those who learn best through reading and watching).  With my preference for hands-on learning, I’m a kinesthetic learner, while my manual-reading husband is a visual learner.  Teachers and other educators have long been aware of these differences, which present real challenges when trying to create a single lesson that will engage students with various learning styles; business people face these same challenges when presenting information to co-workers, clients, or other groups.

But while awareness of varying learning styles is important when trying to inform others, it is equally important to consider your personal learning style when you seek out or receive information.  If you know what kind of learner you are, you can make sure your acquire most of your information using that method, and also work to compensate in those areas where you are weak.

Know what type of learner you are, and use that knowledge to improve your communications.

I had one client who was definitely a visual learner – she learned best by reading, and found it easiest to communicate her ideas through writing.  She worked in marketing, and was good at it, to the extent that she had job offers from two major consumer-goods companies.  Knowing her strong tilt towards a visual learning style, I suggested that she investigate the corporate cultures in the two companies, and she discovered that one company used more formal procedures, with most decisions being made on the basis of memos and reports, while the other company was more free-wheeling, with many decisions being made in informal meetings.  Based largely on these differences, she ended up accepting the offer from the first, more formal company, and has had quite a successful career there.  Had she been unaware of her learning style and taken the offer from the second company without realizing how she clashed with their preferred style, she would probably have been much less successful as her relative inability to learn and communicate in meetings masked her brilliance.

Sometimes, though, you can’t choose how you receive or deliver information.  Another client was also visually focused, and he worked in research.  Initially he was successful, since much of his job involved absorbing information by reading reports.  Because of his success, he was given larger responsibilities, and in his new job he had to collect more and more of his information by interviewing people.  Because he was such a poor auditory learner, he was soon struggling; he simply couldn’t absorb or remember the spoken information as well as he had the written reports.  And in this case there was no real alternative – the reason he was doing interviews was because there were no written reports to read.

Since he couldn’t change how he was receiving the information, we looked for a way for him to improve his auditory learning, and found it in books-on-tape.  Even though he preferred reading to listening, he began to listen to books every day during his commute.  He started with novels that were easy to follow, and gradually increased the difficulty level until he was listening to more complex technical books.  With this practice, he found it much easier to absorb information through interviews.  Reading remains his preferred learning method, but by consciously working at it he is at least a competent auditory learner as well.


Got Google?

Have you ever been Googled?  This neologism, which is now recognized by the Oxford English Dictionary (“Google, v. […] 2. trans. To search for information about (a person or thing) using the Google search engine.”), has an interesting history.  Google, of course, is the wildly successful company whose search engine has become the de facto standard on the internet, and thus a new word.  The company’s name, in turn, is derived from “googol,” the term in mathematics for the number ten raised to the hundredth power, which could be written as the numeral one followed by a hundred zeroes.  “Googol” was coined by the nine-year-old nephew of a mathematician in 1920.

There is some disagreement as to why the company name is spelled differently from the number.  The company’s own website simply says that its “play on the term reflects the company's mission to organize the immense amount of information available on the web.”  But other sources suggest that the change in spelling is due to a mistake by the company’s first investor, who wrote a $100,000 check to “Google, Inc.” before the company’s founders had incorporated under any name.  The founders then quickly incorporated under the misspelt name so they could cash the check.

But back to the original question.  If you have ever had a job interview or a first meeting with a potential client, there is a good chance you have been Googled.  Learning about people by doing web searches on their names is now a common practice in business, so when you meet with someone, you should at least consider the possibility that they Googled you.

Google yourself periodically, and be prepared to deal with what you find.

Even if you have done little on the internet yourself, you may be amazed how much can be learned about you through a simple Google search.  And if you have been active on the net – keeping a blog, posting in discussion groups, sharing your photos, etc. – then you have provided a wealth of information for any potential employers.  Of course, how much can be learned about you depends in part on how common your name is – if your name is “John Smith,” then you will be lost in a sea of other John Smiths (though clever searchers can still learn about you by combining your name with other information, such as your address), while if your name is something like “Melissa Fristrom” then anything found is probably about you.

So what might you need to deal with?  Obviously, if someone has been posting libels about you, you may need to respond (and should probably talk to a lawyer).  More usual problems are things such as unflattering personal information (that blog you wrote in college about getting drunk and waking up in a stranger’s bed), intemperate remarks (the time you got into a flame-war and used rather strong language), or political activities (your arrest at an anti-war demonstration – which, depending upon your potential employer, may be an asset or a liability).  Or a search may reveal misstatements in your resume – but then, this is just one of many reasons you should never lie in your resume.

Since there are so many potential problems, they need to be handled on a case-by-case basis – there is no one way to deal with them.  In some rare cases you may want to bring up the subject yourself, so you explain your side of the story.  Other times you may want to deal with the problem indirectly – if there is information about unprofessional behavior in your past, don’t mention it but make sure you emphasize your current professionalism in your interview, and have references to support you.


Stay the Course or Try Something New

I’m writing this newsletter on the eve of Election Day.  Like most national elections, the current one is being presented by many as a referendum on the party in power and what they have been doing in recent years – if you are happy with the way things are going, you are urged to stay the course, while if you are unhappy, you are told you should throw the bums out.

That may or may not be good political advice, but deciding whether you are happy with the way things have been going can be a good idea if you are looking for a new job or new clients.  If you look back on how you have found jobs or clients in the past, you may find that there is a common theme or pattern.  For example, one client of mine found all of his jobs through classified ads in the Boston Globe, and another had only taken jobs that fell into her lap without effort on her part.  And a colleague found almost all his clients through personal referrals. 

Find the pattern in your past job or client searches, and decide whether to stick to the pattern or break it.

Once you’ve found your pattern, you can decide whether it is working for you or if you need to change course.  If your method has always been effective for you, or you just can’t see yourself changing, then you should put your energy into making your usual approach to finding a job even more effective. 

Waiting for a job to just fall into your lap is not a terribly effective search strategy, but I could tell that my client who used that approach simply wasn’t going to change – her personality was simply too resistant to more conventional search strategies.  So rather than attempting to change her, I helped her find ways to increase the chance that her usual pattern would be successful.  By improving her networking skills, joining professional organizations, and making sure that all her friends and acquaintances knew precisely the kind of job she was looking for, she made it more likely that information about a job would come to her.  And sure enough, she soon had two strong leads on jobs, one through a professional organization, and the other through a friend of a friend.

On the other hand, my colleague who found his clients through personal referrals was unhappy with his pattern.  Although they brought in a steady trickle of new clients for his business, referrals weren’t generating the volume he needed to meet his goals.  So he realized that he needed to break his pattern and try something new.  After considering various approaches to marketing his business, he decided to start giving speeches and workshops, and the increased exposure markedly increased the rate at which he found new clients.